The Messy Middle

Obsession, grit, and getting through the slow seasons no one talks about.

Let’s talk about the messy middle. The Emotional Cycle of Change reminds me a lot of how we treat the year. Q1 is filled with fresh goals, new routines, vision boards and the belief that this year will be different. No matter how many years we’ve lived, a lot of us still end up overly optimistic about the year and what it takes to achieve our goals. By the time we get to Q2, Q3, there’s often a dip, especially if results aren’t rolling in the way you thought or expected (I’m not just talking about your year here, I’m talking about with any objective). You might even be showing up but progress feels slow, you realise it’s going to take a lot more than you expected and that can lead you into the valley of despair — or what I would call the messy middle.

Lately, I’ve been consuming a lot of content on what it takes to get through the messy middle when it feels much easier to quit or start again, which is essentially just seeking the high that comes along with uninformed optimism. But if you’re constantly resetting, you’re not building. One word that keeps coming up again and again on this topic is: obsession.

If you want to achieve something great, there’s a level of focus and tunnel vision that’s required. You can’t just want it, you have to be deeply invested in the outcome. You need to care more than most people care. Angela Duckworth calls this Grit. But grit doesn’t just come from discipline. Often, it’s fuelled by obsession. Whether it’s the process, the mission or the outcome, you need to lock in on something that keeps you going through the dip. If you can stay locked in long enough, you’ll eventually make it to informed optimism — that moment where you really know what it takes and you feel capable of executing at that level.

This week, we’ve been prepping for an upcoming podcast interview with Max Maxwell. He was 30 and broke, living with his mum. Most of us have 30 as our cut-off age for when we must be super successful by. Fast forward 10 years and today he’s 40, a multi-millionaire with $45 million in property development under his name. He attributes this to an obsession that got him through the messy middle, showing up even when progress felt slow. Ali Abdaal also recently released a video admitting that the main driver for him being rich was an obsession with making money. Now people can argue to varying degrees as to whether that’s healthy or not, but the summary of what I’ve learnt is that you have to be super locked in to push through that messy middle.

On that note, we are recording a bunch of podcast episodes in the upcoming week with amazing entrepreneurs like Max Maxwell, and also a lot of Managing Partners and Directors in Corporate and we like sharing real dilemmas from the community in the Wealth Woe segment of the podcast. So if you’re navigating a money or career related issue, whether you’re trying to navigate a messy middle or just need some real money-related advice, submit your Wealth Woe here: https://ngl.link/buildingwealthwnb

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